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A D V I C E A N D I N F O R M A T I O N : T I P S F O R P A R E N T S A N D F A M I L I E S
Preventing Teen Sexual Abuse
Help teenagers learn about and prevent sexual abuse
With all the attention on sex abuse cases involving young children, it's sometimes easy to forget that teens also are vulnerable and need support and protection, mental health counselors advise.
Debbi Halela, who coordinates programs for teen sexual-abuse survivors at Youth Eastside Services (YES), advises parents to "create a climate of openness" with their teenage children and educate them about safe dating, the risks of drug and alcohol use, and sexual boundaries.
"Above all, parents should listen to their children and believe and support them unconditionally," says Halela, whose organization is one of the largest providers of counseling and prevention programs for youth in King County.
Talking about sexual abuse is the best way to prevent it, she adds, particularly considering that teens can be much more naïve and vulnerable than they seem.
According to the statistics, one in three girls and one in five boys will be sexually abused before the age of 16. In most cases, the victim knows the abuser, as in an acquaintance or dating situation.
More than 50 percent of rapes are committed against adolescents, and the risk is four times greater for females aged 16 to 24 than any other population group.
While teens may act like they know it all, studies reveal a disturbing lack of awareness when it comes to sexual abuse, dating safety and consent. In fact, most teens don't even recognize it when a rape occurs, according to a 1991 report.
Halela says many teens she's counseled don't perceive what's happened to them as an assault because of the circumstances involved. Maybe the girl had too much to drink or was willingly kissing the guy, and then blames herself that things went too far.
"But if one person doesn't consent to sex with the other, it's rape," Halela said.
Statistics reveal a strong link between alcohol and drug use and acquaintance rape. Fifty-five percent of the victims and 75 percent of the perpetrators in a 1988 study had been drinking or taking drugs before the assault.
To help prevent date rape and other teen-on-teen sexual abuse from occurring, YES sponsors a program called RESPECT (Relationship Equality and Safety: Peers Educating Community Teens), which trains high school students to talk to other teens about preventing and resolving violence in dating relationships.
Halela says it's never too early to talk to your child about safety. But don't stop there, she adds. Continue the safety dialogue with older children and teens. By being willing to discuss issues, parents show teens that they, too, should be comfortable talking about concerns or problems they have.
Parents who suspect their child has been sexually abused or want advice on how to talk to their children about safety and sexual abuse prevention, can call Youth Eastside Services at 425-747-4937.
‘Parenting Lifeline’ is a monthly column in the Bellevue Reporter newspapers by YES Executive Director Patti Skelton-McGougan. For more information call 425-747-4937 or ChristianB@YouthEastsideServices.org
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